To Wed A Highlander Page 22

  She felt empty, angry, and cold.

  Her first day of relaxation in months was turning into the worst day of her marriage.

  Makenna ran to block the doorway. “Oh, no, you don’t. Do not think for one moment that you can deposit me in my old chambers as if I were a child and then leave. I have done nothing that warrants this treatment.”

  “Nothing? You call nearly killing yourself riding arms wide open at a full gallop nothing?”

  Makenna listened in bewilderment. “This was all because of how I was riding? You will have to do better than that, Colin McTiernay.”

  Colin caught Makenna by the shoulders, forcing her to look up and face him. “Do you want me to do better? Then how about this? You are never to ride in any fashion I would deem unsafe, and that includes dashing about the countryside as fast you can ride. It is dangerous, and I won’t allow it. I’m considering switching your mount with one that is older and unable to move at such speeds just to ensure that my orders are followed. And another matter, I don’t want you sparring with the men again, and that includes Gorten. I’m not sure I even want you carrying around your sword.”

  Makenna crossed her arms. The man was indeed crazed if he truly thought she would agree to any of his nonsense. She didn’t care what reasons spawned this dramatic change in attitude, but Colin was just going to have to get over them. “No.”

  Her simple, but emphatic reply startled him. He let go of her shoulders and stalked across the room. “You cannot say no. I am the laird of this clan and its people and that includes you,” Colin stated, using his most authoritative voice.

  Makenna was unmoved. “Aye, you are laird, but I will bow to no man’s unjust request, laird or not, husband or not.”

  Colin had been in countless rows with Makenna, but never had he heard icy brittleness in her voice before. “Unjust? I have every right to protect what is mine from harm. Had it ever occurred to you that you might fall? Or what would happen if you were not quick enough when sparring and was speared by my man’s sword?”

  Makenna boldly met his gaze. “Do you think I have never been injured? Colin, surely you jest! I have both fallen and have been cut a great many times. You have seen my body. It is riddled with scars as reminders to each mistake. I have no doubt that I will fall and be hurt again, but that is no reason for me to give up the things I love. What you ask is impossible. Even for you, I will not stop being who I am.”

  Colin grabbed the stone-carved mantel above the unlit hearth and took a firm grip on his resolve. He had to stay calm and rational if he was going to win this war. “If not for me, then do it for the sake of our child.”

  Makenna frowned. “Our child? Colin, again you make no sense.”

  “Makenna,” he began, “you understand how babies are made.”

  She tossed her hair behind her shoulders and went to sit down. “Don’t be silly. I know as well as you. And I also know that we have not been married long enough for me to be with child. Why, we married only three months ago.”

  “Aye, three months in which practically every night you sleep in my arms.”

  Makenna’s hand went to her stomach. She had felt no differently in the mornings, but not all women reacted badly in their first months of the babe’s growth. Could she be? Her monthlies were inconsistent, and she never paid much heed to when they came.

  She calmed her racing thoughts. She was not pregnant. It would be impossible. “So? You were married to my sister for over a year, and she never conceived.”

  Colin snorted. “Makenna, couples usually have to make love more than a handful of times to conceive. You and I are together more in one night than Deirdre allowed in six months.”

  “But you…and she…I thought…” The halting words stumbled and disappeared without completion.

  Colin sighed and raked his hair. He turned and moved by the window and looked down to the inner ward. “Deirdre didn’t…enjoy the physical part of our marriage. She tried a few times. Maybe she was too frail. I loved her and wanted to protect her, not hurt her.”

  It explained so much of her sister, and her strange decisions, the reasons behind which she never divulged. “Is that why she kept her old room?” Makenna asked, her voice full of hesitation.

  “Aye. Deirdre stepped in my bedroom only once when we were married. Maybe out of guilt, maybe out of fear. After our last coupling, I decided to wait and let her come to me when she was ready. She never came.”

  Makenna blinked and then stared down at her hands in her lap. So, just as Deirdre had not been the model lady of the castle, she had not been the ideal wife. Still, Colin had loved her. He even freely admitted it just now. Words he had never spoken to Makenna. Until now, the pain of their absence had been manageable.

  If Deirdre had not been the ideal wife or the ideal lady, why had Colin loved her so? The only answer that made any sense was her grace, how she made those around her feel, but most of all her delicate beauty unmarred by masculine hobbies. All qualities Makenna would never possess.

  Makenna could feel her fingers being pulled into his strong hands. She glanced up and saw Colin squatting in front of her, his blue eyes large and compelling. “Now do you understand? Do you believe that you could be carrying our child? Do you understand that I cannot have another life taken from me? I will do anything and everything to protect you and our child from harm, including taking away those things that you love.”

  Colin stood and sank into a chair next to hers. He stared at the cold ashes. “It is not pleasant to speak of such things. I will do so only this once. I loved Deirdre…I loved her very much,” he began softly. “But our marriage was different from the one you and I share. Maybe it would have grown better, if she had not been taken from me. I will never know.” Colin paused.

  Makenna could feel her heart pounding. She wanted to scream and tell him it was too painful hearing about his love for her sister. It was cruel for him to speak with such reverence about his late wife. Instead, she sat in pained silence, listening.

  Colin squeezed his eyes shut. Remembering. “I used to wish that I had died with her that night.”

  “You don’t anymore?” Makenna asked, her voice barely capable of being heard.

  “No.”

  Makenna waited for him to continue, to give her some verbal balm for her heart. That he was glad to be alive, because of her, of what they shared…something. Instead, he briefly gave her an artificial smile and then looked away again.

  “I know giving up some of the things you love will be hard, but just to be fair, I want to give you something as well. I have not been pleased with the amount of work you’ve been doing while managing the keep. Your load is too much. I want you to have Gannon assign your duties to someone else. Now, won’t this make you happy?”

  Makenna nodded stiffly. She would curb her sparring and riding, but she would not inflict more work on the few people she had supporting Lochlen. But, rather than argue, she whispered, “I understand, Colin.” Much more than I want to, she added only to herself.

  Colin pulled her into a tender embrace. Makenna complied but felt oddly separated from herself. The piece of her heart that enabled her to feel completely free and safe with Colin, the piece that gave her hope that someday he would feel for her some of what she felt for him, had died. She felt like running away and crying.

  A shadow quietly crept down the tower staircase and exited unseen. It had been a close call. Makenna was supposed to have been out of the castle for several more hours, allowing plenty of time to search Her Ladyship’s room. Lela had no idea for what, but Leon seemed sure Makenna was hiding something of value. Something she would recognize as important as soon as she spied it.

  Lela had been waiting for weeks for today’s opportunity. When Makenna was working in the keep, it was impossible to sneak into the tower. There was too much activity, and Her Ladyship had a habit of meeting with servants in her room. Nights were not an option, since the blasted lady encouraged several of the women to sleep in her old chambers, stating it was warmer and much more comfortable than the small beds in the Pinnacle Tower.

  So Lela had waited until Makenna’s scheduled day of rest, knowing she would leave the castle walls. Lela first attempted her search several weeks ago, but Makenna had inexplicably stayed within the castle walls to help. The second time, the clumsy cook burned himself. Today, Makenna had indeed left as planned, but returned early. Lela had barely enough time to hide in the nook just beyond the door before the despicable Highlander marched up the stairs carrying his traitorous bride.

  In fear of being imminently caught, Lela hid in the shadows. Hearing the two bicker, Lela felt her dread slowly transform into excitement. Leon would be pleased to hear of what she had learned.

  Exiting the tower, Lela headed straight toward the gatehouse and into the village. The timing was perfect. Many of the villagers were breaking and relaxing around the Commune Tree for a few moments before they resumed their work.

  “Mona! Bidelia! Gillian! Come listen to what I have just learned. You, too, Angus. Bring David and Keith with you.”

  Lela waited until a small crowd had gathered around her. “I have just come from Forfar where I overheard the laird and his wife arguing quite loudly.”

  Gillian, a short, rotund woman with very curly gray hair and thick eyebrows, shrugged her shoulders dismissively. “That is your news, Lela? Husbands and wives fight all the time.”

  Another woman elbowed Gillian and answered, “How would she know? Her husband was too afraid and too weak to stand up to her!”

  Lela clenched her jaw. This was not going as planned at all. “My husband never had to explain that I might be pregnant. And my husband never slept in another bedroom because he was too afraid to bed me!”

  “Wherever
you are getting your stories, you best look again. I doubt the laird’s slept one night away from his wife since he’s been home. Common knowledge,” one of the men replied, turning to walk away.

  “Not his current wife, I’m talking about Lady Deirdre! Did you ever wonder why his first wife never became with child?”

  “As it is not my business, no, I didn’t. And truth be telling, I don’t care now either. It does make me wonder why you do,” came a muffled reply from a gentleman enjoying a piece of bread.

  “Well, you should, David, and you will. Even now the laird speaks of reducing her workload and enabling her lazy ways. Not once did he mention or praise the support of the people tending his manor, just on ways of burdening you and your sons and daughters more.”

  “Why do you care?” one of the more respected men asked. “The way my middle daughter tells it, Lady Makenna works more than her share, and most of the women would like her to unload some of her burden onto them. My youngest daughter is even considering helping out a few days a week. I have encouraged her to do so.”

  Lela’s jaw slacked. “Did you say encouraged? Have you forgotten that McTiernay is a Highlander? He is not one of us! He has no right to lead the Dunstan clan. Lady Makenna forfeited her right to be one of us the day she married that man.”

  A middle-aged woman of medium height with shoulder-length brown hair and dark blue eyes stepped forward. “I once thought as you, Lela. I did not like the idea of an outsider in our midst, and certainly not as our leader. I resented Lady Makenna for making it possible for the Highlander to become our laird. My husband and I both made our feelings well known.” She paused to stand back and get the attention of the crowd. “But my opinion changed the day that my son, Rory, injured himself in the fields. The laird personally carried him home and stopped by every day to see if he was getting better. He even had one of his men help work the fields until Rory recovered.”

  Gillian walked over and placed a hand on Lela’s arm. Lela shook it off. “You have let yourself become blind to the truth, Lela. Your petty jealousies have always been unbecoming, but stop whatever vengeance you seek. It will do you no good.”

  Lela glowered at the friendly-looking woman. Never will I stop, she vowed to herself. And neither will Leon. But he’d better act soon, if he wants the clan to support his attack.

  Moving to leave, Lela took a last look around for the faces who still advocated removing the Highlander. Most were not there. She smiled in satisfaction. They were completing the wall, just as MacCuaig had asked.

  Chapter Twelve

  “Ready?” Colin asked Dunlop, who had just entered the stables. It was dark outside. The sun was not due to rise for at least two more hours. Besides the night guardsmen, everyone was asleep.

  Dunlop nodded, wary of Colin’s strange mood the past week. For the last three nights, Colin had slept with the men in the training fields, something he had not done since he married. Only once did the men inquire as to their laird’s behavior. Dunlop swiftly ended speculations that something was wrong.

  But something was wrong.

  Colin was pensive and uneasy. Anger would be much easier to dismiss or even understand. Never, since Dunlop had known the Highlander, had Colin acted this way. It was very odd and very disturbing.

  Colin ignored his black, grabbed the stable torch, and left on foot for the outer gate. Dunlop followed. They moved quietly until Colin reached the portion of the town wall that was recently completed. The wall, just like his marriage, seemed to be solid and good. In reality, it was not.

  Makenna was not happy. She was unusually quiet and aggravatingly agreeable. Her smiles never filled her face. Bold green eyes, once luminescent and vibrant, had lost their mischievous twinkle. Her newly submissive nature was driving him mad.

  He hated it, and he wanted it to stop.

  Never did he realize how much Makenna’s spirit made everyone, including him, come alive. He needed her passion and fire; he depended upon it. And he was at a loss as to why it was gone.

  Thinking her to be angry over some unknown slight, he had tried to be more loving and attentive. It only seemed to make her even more distant and withdrawn. Even their lovemaking was affected. He became aroused by her slightest movement but was reluctant to touch her. The spark, the passion, the wild honesty had suddenly disappeared. Without it, their coupling felt hollow, reminding him that he once had something fragile and precious, and now it was gone.

  The loss only doubled when he learned Makenna was not pregnant. But the fact did not explain why she had been withdrawn before her monthly flux had come.

  Desperate, he had asked her directly if she was angry with him. Did she want to ride, desire to train, need more help, or wish he would remain at Lochlen more? Each time her answer was no.

  He was losing her, and it was killing him inside.

  Colin moved to the wall and pointed to a place where the rocks were joined. He pushed on it, and the pieces moved very easily. Then he went to where the wall had been completed just two months ago. Dunlop pushed on it. It was solid.

  Silently, they continued to examine the wall, identifying exactly where it was weak and where it was secure. Only two feeble sections were found, both located in areas the wall remained dark, even when the sun was high. The largest, once broken, would let between six and eight men in simultaneously. The second weak spot was farther down, but much smaller. It would allow a single man to sneak into the castle while all the attention was on the swarm of attackers coming through the larger break.

  Colin had first spied the sabotage upon his return from the raids. A few days later, the wall was once again being built correctly. Then a month ago, the builders started again to build and conceal weak spots, but on a much greater scale. Once more, Colin chose not to mention or correct the faulty work.

  Together the two sections could be a lethal combination without being a fully destructive one. Whoever was orchestrating this treachery obviously needed to break through the wall, but did not desire having to rebuild large parts of it once in control.

  Colin estimated the time till the wall’s completion was approximately a month. Timing would be critical if he were going to unite this clan under his lead. If his estimations were off, there was a chance he could be driven from the Borders and back to the Highlands.

  Oddly, the idea did not appeal to him. In the past, the vast mountains that jutted into the sea beckoned him to return. The Highlands were the place of his birth, his heritage, but the day he kissed Makenna, Lochlen had suddenly become home.

  Retreating into the inner ward, Colin and Dunlop met in the shadows near the chapel tower. Colin verified no one was close enough to see or overhear them.

  “Do you know who is behind this?” Dunlop whispered.

  “Aye, but I cannot prove such an allegation.”

  “Do you wish for the wall to be dismantled and rebuilt, this time by your own men?”

  “I’d rather not announce what we know just yet. I am confident the rest of the wall is and will be quite solid. I doubt MacCuaig wants to spend any more than he has to once he takes over.”

  “You suspect MacCuaig, then?”

  “I have no evidence, but I also have no doubts it is him,” Colin replied evenly. “Starting tomorrow night, I want two guards posted between the two areas of entry, and two more at the end where there is still construction.”

  “Aye, Laird. Would you have them inside or outside the town wall?”

  “Inside. We will not openly reveal our knowledge of the traitors, but it should make the clan as a whole quite nervous.”

  “You suspect the whole clan?” Dunlop asked, appalled.

  “Nay, only a handful of people are actively behind this plot, but there are many more who know of it.”

  Dunlop was about to ask another question, when Colin shook his head indicating his unwillingness to explain. “I want the guards posted from sundown to sunup.”

  Dunlop looked quizzical for a moment, balancing his desire to know more and his duty to obey. Choosing, he replied, “It will be done as you ask.”