To Wed A Highlander Read online

  Makenna bit her bottom lip and wondered if they were referring to her. She shrugged her shoulders and decided it did not matter. Restarting her descent, she had not totally lifted her foot when again their conversation stopped her.

  “Too bad Lady Rona’s husband did not show the same spine of Uilleam.”

  “I don’t know, Lela. I doubt Ula will be allowed to visit again with her husband backing MacCuaig so publicly.”

  “It will not matter when Lochlen falls into MacCuaig’s grasp. He may even have Uilleam manage Lochlen under his rule.”

  The second voice sighed. “I think Laird MacCuaig is somewhat delusional if they think the Highlander is going to so easily give up his clan and ranking. Uilleam is a fool, and Ula even more so for marrying him. He may have a pretty face, but weak knees. Same for Rona’s husband. To tell you the truth, I’d rather have the Highlander.”

  Makenna smiled to herself, feeling a rush of pride that Colin was the preferred choice among some women. But just as hope was emerging in, a wave of reality washed it away.

  “Never!” Lela hissed. “I would rather die the way of Wallace than submit to an outsider.”

  “Were you not an outsider coming from the Highlands yourself, Lela?”

  Makenna mentally cheered the woman with her lips pressed together to ensure that her comments did not accidentally escape.

  “The land, its people, and its customs never laid claim to my soul. Those mountains are miserable, and the men who claim them are barbarians. And now that one of them heads the clan of my dead husband’s, the only peace I have is knowing that his home will soon be in complete disorder under the supervision of his new wife.”

  “’Tis true, what you say. Our new lady has not a notion of who comes and leaves. And it is certainly not my responsibility to know or care. The laird must be ashamed that his wife is so ill-equipped to help him run and protect his home.”

  Makenna took a step back and leaned against the cold stones of the staircase wall. What did they mean ill-equipped to protect his home? Wasn’t it Colin’s duty to see the keep was safe?

  Lela tapped her fingers loudly along the small windowsill and looked out through the dirt coating the glass. It had not been cleaned for months. Her hostility was distancing Doreen. A new direction was needed. “I would wager a new luckenbooth our lady doesn’t care. She doesn’t care about her clan, her keep, or even her appearance.”

  “Aye, and what a shame. Who knew Lady Makenna could be such a bonnie lass? She caused quite a stir among the men at her wedding, even my boy Rufus went on about it. It’s a pity she doesn’t continue to at least try and make herself presentable.”

  “I predict the Highlander’s eye will soon rove if she continues to be unsightly and conduct herself with such rebellious behavior,” Lela prompted.

  A light laughter tinkled up the stairs. “Your new beau’s eye maybe, Lela, but not that Highlander’s—even if she gives him reason. You may have your harsh opinion of the Highlands, but that man stayed true to Lady Deirdre despite her being ill nearly their entire marriage. I know; I attended her.”

  “Still, Doreen—”

  “Still nothing, Lela. I was there when Laird Crawford told all who could hear that when the McTiernays make a promise, it is for life. And I believe him. I’ve seen it.”

  “Hmph,” Lela muttered. Doreen was obviously not going to disavow their new laird…yet. “Well, regardless of how you feel about McTiernay’s ‘noble heart’, he now is with a woman who would rather play all day than tend to her home.”

  Makenna’s jaw tightened. Playing! These people think I am having nothing but fun training and hunting! Aye, it’s what I enjoy, but those things are hard. “I’d like to see you hunt for the food I place in your mouth, Lela Fraser,” Makenna whispered aloud.

  Balling her fist, Makenna painfully banged the stone barrier. It mattered little what these two women thought.

  Doreen clucked her tongue. “Now, that, Lela, is a topic we do agree on. Indeed, wouldn’t we all want to be riding in the breeze or doing only what we enjoyed? You know, I think the lass actually believes we like cleaning, cooking, and taking care of this place.”

  Doreen’s condemning words stunned Makenna. She felt as if the iciest loch waters had struck her while sleeping.

  Lela, sensing Doreen was now ripe for suggestion, whispered surreptitiously, “That brings me to what I came to tell you. Some of us are leaving.”

  “Leaving? Where will you go?”

  Lela scoffed. “Not the clan, Doreen…Lochlen. I’d rather assist in the fields or build that horrid wall than work in the disorganized nightmare this place is soon to be.”

  Doreen gasped. “But what will Lady Makenna do?”

  “What do we care?”

  “Don’t you find that cruel to do to one of our own? Lady Makenna is not mean. In fact, I have always thought of her as quite kind.”

  “And unappreciative.”

  “True, but—”

  “And no one wants to stay where there is no one overseeing things, no steward, and no cook.”

  “Oh Lord…the cook is leaving, too?”

  “Left this morning after she made Lady Rona her morning meal and a traveling pack to go. This place will soon be a disaster. What help does stay will grow angry, and then…” Lela hinted, her voice trailing with a significant amount of malice. The woman was not merely unhappy about Colin, Makenna realized, but sought to punish her as well.

  “Then everyone will leave,” Doreen finished softly.

  “You may want to consider avoiding the inevitable bitterness and depart immediately like me.”

  “I don’t know. I don’t want to work in such conditions, but I don’t want to see Lochlen fall apart either.”

  Unable to hear any more, Makenna turned and reentered Colin’s chambers. Closing the door silently behind her, she leaned against the dark planks and felt the first of many tears begin to fall.

  How could she have been so naïve to think she could retain the title of Lady of Lochlen Castle without actually being one? How could she have so vastly underrated the importance of what everyone had tried to teach her?

  She could easily dismiss Lela’s remarks. They were malicious and spiteful. For some mysterious reason, the woman hated Colin and now hated her for marrying him. But the other woman—Doreen—she had agreed with too many of Lela’s observations.

  Makenna could barely remember the women who had supported her sister in her last days. But, from her comments, Doreen did not seek revenge. Her statements were her true feelings.

  Forcing her wooden legs to move, Makenna staggered to the bed and collapsed on its unmade surface, crying into the pillow housing Colin’s scent. Last night, he had told her she was beautiful, and she had believed him.

  For years, her blond, blue-eyed sisters harped that she could be pretty if she would only try. And she had tried. What she discovered was that her hair was too thick to manage, her skin too golden from the sun, and her green eyes too shrewd to be considered sweet. So she stopped all attempts to do the impossible. Even if she wanted to recreate what her sisters’ had done with her hair on her wedding day, she had no idea where to begin. She only knew how to leave it loose and unrestrained, which in the summer was far too hot to consider, or plait it down her back.

  Makenna flipped over and stared at the beams supporting the above battlements. The remarks about her looks had stung, and they were indeed painful, but she had heard them before. The main reason behind her tears was fear that Doreen was right. The laird must be ashamed that his wife is so ill-equipped to help him run and protect his home. The comment haunted her.

  People were leaving, and Colin would return humiliated and disappointed. Three weeks ago, she wouldn’t have cared what he thought. Now it mattered a great deal. The task of running Lochlen Castle was enormous, practically impossible for one whose aptitude for such things was nonexistent.

  Makenna suddenly realized she was indulging in what Camus used to call “destructive thinking.” It was unlike her to wallow in self-pity. Colin did not believe her helpless domestically. He would not have asked her to take care of Lochlen while he was gone if he didn’t believe her capable. She could be this castle’s lady in all ways, not just name only. She just needed to make the decision. More than once someone had told her she was incapable of accomplishing a task, and each time she had proven them otherwise.

  Makenna sat up in bed and wiped her eyes dry with her sleeve. This would be no different. She just needed to find someone capable of teaching her what she didn’t know. And she knew just whom to ask.

  A half hour later, Makenna felt much more herself. She brushed her hair until it shone and replaited the unruly locks, but only halfway so that a mass of curls spiraled down her back. “There, that is about all I can do for now,” she told her reflection.

  Rising, she went to the door and took three deep breaths before leaving. She rounded the last step, and instead of exiting, she turned inward and entered the cavernous room situated on the first floor.

  It had been years since she had been in this room. There were no windows or even arrow slits through the fifteen-foot-thick walls. Its sole source of light came from the enormous hearth situated across from the entrance. The overall structure was the same, but its use had altered greatly.

  A few years ago, the Dunstan steward had resided and worked within the Black Tower. Gannon stored specialty goods on the first floor, conducted business from the second, and slept in the chamber Colin currently used. Now the tower basement was divided by a wooden partition. On the left was a storage area housing a mix of items from perishable goods to supplementary weapons. The other side appeared to be a makeshift sleeping quarters for several servants.

  “Who goes there?” a
female voice snapped. Makenna turned around immediately and matched the face to the unknown voice she had overheard. A round-faced woman, Doreen was somewhere in her late thirties, perhaps even forty whose straw-colored hair was wrapped in a precariously listing topknot.

  “Oh…oh…milady. My apologies. I never expected to find you here.”

  “No, no, don’t apologize. I didn’t realize what…Are these your quarters?”

  “Ah, no. I stay with my husband and my son. Our cottage is just outside the outer wall.”

  “Your son, his name is Rufus, right?”

  Doreen’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Aye, it is. I wasn’t aware that you knew my son.”

  “I have not had the privilege, but I hope to, soon.”

  Doreen shifted her weight from one foot to the next and back again. Never had Makenna taken the time to talk or converse with anyone not associated with horses or weaponry. Her knowing about Rufus, a simple farm lad, was unexpected and very disconcerting. “May I inquire to your needs, milady?”

  Hearing the confusion in the woman’s voice, Makenna walked over and clutched Doreen’s fingertips with her own. It was a personal gesture, she knew, but it also felt natural. “I…I want to make a request.”

  Doreen felt her uneasiness lessen. Her Ladyship was just as nervous and unsure. Feeling the sides of her mouth rise, Doreen chuckled quietly. Who would believe, she, a lady’s maid, would feel more at ease and confident than the actual lady of the castle? She patted Makenna’s quivering hand and asked, “What is that, milady? You need me to fetch the stable master, or Camus perhaps?”

  It was natural for Doreen to assume she would want to visit the horses or the sword smith. “No, I need to gather everyone who works at Lochlen just outside the great hall.”

  “In the inner yard? Everyone?” Doreen gasped, not even trying to hide her shock.

  “Aye, in the yard, and as soon as possible. And no, I don’t need everyone. The armorers, the soldiers on watch, and the stable workers are not required, but anyone else who supports this castle or is paid by the steward must attend. Oh, and Gannon, too, of course.”

  Doreen stood frozen in stunned silence. “I…there is going to be some resistance.”

  Makenna took a deep breath and exhaled. No turning back now. “Tell them it is…the Lady of Lochlen’s request.”

  An hour later, Makenna stood in the inner yard looking out at the small group of two dozen women and a handful of men. There might be a lot she didn’t know about running a keep, but she was reasonably certain the number of people in the yard was far below what was needed to run a castle of Lochlen’s size.

  Makenna’s eyes searched the crowd and found Doreen. She motioned for her to come close and whispered, “Is this everybody? I was hoping to talk with everyone at Lochlen, not just those available.”

  “Aye, milady, this is everyone, except those you excluded.”

  “I thought…well, I thought there would be more people working here.”

  Doreen wanted to be anywhere rather than where she was. Wishing she had left when Lela suggested, she nodded. “There are, I mean…were.”

  Makenna frowned, feelings of frustration and panic rising within her. “I see.”

  A man moved to the front of the small crowd, his mouth thin with displeasure. “No, milady, I don’t think you do see. If you did, you wouldn’t be asking us to come to ye like this.” His eyes were small, deep-set, and firmly positioned upon her.

  “And why should I not want to see my staff?” Makenna asked, genuinely curious as to what his objetions could be.

  One long finger pointed out at the crowd, as the other pushed back his wispy gray hair. “I have looked, but my eyes cannot seem to find the stable master or his lads. I also do not see the armorers or your friend, the sword smith.”

  Makenna felt her face redden and replied defensively, “Well, no—they are not here. I did not want to take them away from their duties.”

  “But you have no remorse about pulling me away from my bread. The loaves I was kneading are now ruined and those in the ovens are probably burnt. Now do you see, milady? That’s why so many of us have left. You support the soldiers, but they are not the only ones who work hard and ensure the safety of Lochlen. But you don’t care about us, now, do you?”

  The back of Makenna’s hand flew to her mouth as she surveyed the crowd. Several heads were nodding up and down in agreement. She had just made another huge mistake. “Oh Lord, and for those who have stayed, I have just made your work all that much harder.”

  His black eyes relaxed as he saw understanding seep its way into his mistress’s expression. “And now, milady, for the first time, I think you just might be seeing the way things are and not the way you want them to be.”

  Makenna openly studied the man. Not many would question the laird’s new lady in an open forum, and even fewer would be so harsh. This medium-height, thin-framed man had expanded her perception, giving a larger sense of reason and reality. In a way, he had done for her what she had tried to do for Deirdre. Be honest, despite station or circumstance.

  “What is your name?” Makenna’s voice became soft and melodious. Accompanying it was a smile that the men in the yard would talk about for days.

  “Dugan, milady,” he answered with quiet emphasis.

  “And I take it you are the baker.”

  He coughed, suddenly feeling the weight of everyone’s stares. “There was one other, but he left.”

  The man looked tired, and now she knew why. He was doing the work of two men. With so few in the yard, Dugan’s situation would no doubt be indicative of those surrounding him. Before she could help Dugan or any of the remaining staff, she would first have to understand just how bad things were and receive advice on what to do about it.

  “Where is Gannon?” she asked loud enough for all to hear.

  “I am here, Lady Makenna,” came a strong, steady answer as a balding, thickset man with hawklike eyes stepped forward.

  When Makenna was a child, the steward had seemed unapproachable and harshly demanding. Now he was the one man who could save her from the deep pit she had spent many years digging for herself. Gannon had been Lochlen’s steward since before she was born. He knew everything that went on at the castle and in the surrounding estates. Skilled at accounting and legal matters as well as personnel management, the old steward was her one hope of fulfilling Colin’s request.

  Gannon had watched as Makenna fumbled with the baker and realized her mistake. It seemed she was finally ready to be lady of this grand castle. Of all the Dunstan daughters, she had been the one who had the heart, stamina, and backbone required to lead her people. Ula and Rona were self-centered and vain, Edna was too quiet and introspective, and Deirdre had been led through persuasion, focusing only on personal comforts and not what was best for the clan.

  Unfortunately, like her sister, Makenna had foolishly married the arrogant Highlander. Their new laird spoke about rebuilding the Dunstan army and ensuring the clan’s safety, but there was very little evidence he would ever be able to do so. Without the clan’s support, Gannon had no doubt Colin McTiernay would be forced to leave Lochlen. Hopefully, Makenna would realize her folly and stay.

  Before he could ask what she wanted from him, her voice rang out, her tone apologetic. “Ah…thank you very much for coming. I apologize for never before showing my appreciation, but I do, as does my husband. I promise to learn and assist you as I should have since my sister passed away. Please go back to your duties. Soon I hope to meet with each of you in a more convenient manner. Good day.”

  Makenna watched for a moment as the crowd dwindled back to the various places from which they originated. Seeing the backs of Doreen and Gannon, she called out asking them to wait. “I truly meant what I said, but as you are both keenly aware, I don’t know how.”

  “Milady, I am but a lady’s maid, why would you want my help?”

  “Because you want what is best for this clan and its castle. I need someone both kind and honest to teach me how to work and converse with women. Will you help me with this?”

  Doreen gave her a quizzical look. Her Ladyship wants help on how to be a woman. Lady Makenna had changed, even as recently as the previous evening. Whatever the reason, it was something worth supporting and nurturing. Lady Deirdre had been kind, but she had her faults and though no one said so, Lochlen had suffered for them. She had been unwilling to listen to her people’s needs. Maybe, just maybe, Lady Makenna was the mistress they had longed for.